Home Team or Just Me?

A close-up view of a vacuum cleaner gliding over a plush carpet, capturing the essence of a clean and inviting home environment.

Shifting from Solo to Team: Redistributing Household Responsibilities

If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me, 'how did you get them to do...?' I'd have quite a collection by now. Another common question is, 'my partner and/or kids would never...'. This conversation becomes interesting when we delve into the idea of transferring household responsibilities from just me to a home team approach. I'm speaking to the moms who feel like everyone in the house relies on them and assumes they'll handle everything. From laundry to meals, the feeling of being overwhelmed is real when home life seems like 'it's all on me'. I discuss the details of 'What's for Dinner?' in the first Small Space Successes book because that was my personal breaking point. I was frustrated and resentful that I felt obligated to manage everything simply because I'm the mom and the adult female in the house. I often see social media posts where people say to ask your mom for everything, but why is that?

Is it because it's assumed to be our responsibility? Do we adhere to outdated gender roles? Do we view asking for help as a burden? Are we seen as incapable or deficient because we can't or don't want to do it all? The questions embedded in the 'it's all on me' mindset can feel as overwhelming as the responsibilities themselves.

Adopting a home team mindset involves changing our self-talk and communicating with everyone capable in the household. Can a toddler be expected to do as much as your partner? No, but there are age-appropriate tasks that can be shared among the home team. People thought I was crazy when I taught my eight-year-old to do his own laundry...now, I hear from moms of teenagers or older kids who are frustrated because 'they are old enough and should be doing this!'

Finding the balance between what we do ourselves and what we delegate to a home team can be challenging. I find it helpful to remind myself that if a task needs to be done regardless of my presence, it's a task that can be delegated.

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